MY BLOG!!

Friday, August 12, 2005

School has started for less than a week and i am already feeling lethargic. Dragging myself to school everyday like a drone. Tousled and weary with a lot of dead lines to meet. School was the same as usual, nothing exciting that happened, nothing that will happen and nothing is going to happen...

"How come your looking so tired?" <--- its a comment that always followed me where ever i went.
I seriously had no idea!!! I guess its because I was borned with this face or there simply was nothing for me to be happy about that is written on my face.

Been doing a lot of reading these few days. Books, magazines, car specs, household appliances read-ups, fine dining recommendations.... anything that i can get my hands on except textbooks. Guess i am still on the run from reality. But the most idiotic thing i did was to read a blog. A blog @ that i should have deleted long ago. It had been a painful past and an arduous battle to get over it but rationality was weak 2day.... Seems like she have been leading quite a happy life all the while, happily with her loved one. Good for her.... and may God please watch over her so that she remain happy always.

Recently I have been trying to curb a thought by excerising some positive thinking on it and offering some reasoning on it. But i just cant get it out of my head so i thought of sharing it. I was pondering over the truthfulness of a human character. How amazing one could pour their woes in front of you. Showing how frail he is and the despair situation that he is in. Tactless and helpless, seeking for your understanding and help. But enslaving you back into the aladdin's lamp once help has been seeked. Only waiting to be summoned out when the need arrives. Din they noe that trust and appreciation is the basis of friendship rather than pitiness and digging on the soft spot of the human character? I might not be asking for anything back in return but just hope that i can be trusted and treated with due respect of a friend rather than a TOOL.... Aladdin was only given 3 wishes. Though friends are worth more, it is only a matter of time before the "magic" dies off and dun return.....

CANTtakeIT;2:39 AM

'andI;

Name CCK
BDAE 24 Nov 1982
Email
cazlex@yahoo.com
Friendster
cazlex@yahoo.com
MSN
taz_alex@hotmail.com

'CAN'T;

DISCLAMER : THIS BLOG IS A ColleCTION of THOTS... Owner Does not hold any responsiblity for ANy ANIMALS/BEAST/pigs/or whateva that were hurt in the process...

'TAKE;

"Because of you"

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I have learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole
to start with
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night
in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
Because of you
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you I never stray
too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play
on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to
let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life
because it’s empty
Because of you I am afraid

Because of you

'IT;

-MY HISTORY-

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005